The Emotional Impact of Secondary Breast Cancer - Community Stories Part 2

Living with secondary (metastatic) cancer is challenging. You will deal with a variety of emotions, such as fear, sadness, anxiety, anger, or hopelessness. Sometimes, people find it difficult to express how they feel to their loved ones. Your loved ones might also need help coping. Having a family member or friend with metastatic cancer is challenging, especially for people who help care for you.

Talking about fears and concerns is important, even when treatment is working well and you have hope. 

We opened this subject up to our ‘2nds Together’ community to find out more about the ‘emotional impact of secondary breast cancer’ and are sharing stories from Mandy & Margaret this week.  Thank you. 

Questions:

How long have you been living with secondary breast cancer?

What is the emotional impact of this disease for you and your family?

Do you have any coping techniques or advice you’d like to share?

Mandy Bradshaw

How long have you been living with secondary breast cancer?

They found something on my spine pelvis and hips in March 2021 after an Mri, I was finally diagnosed October 2021.

It was the biggest shock of my life and I actually thought that they had got my results mixed up with someone else. I felt foolish that I wasn't  aware of secondary symptoms and assumed it was still after effects of chemo from 2011. Primary was in 2011 where I had mastectomy, Chemo, radiotherapy and reconstruction.

What is the emotional impact of this disease for you and your family?

We as a family were very shocked, I've been alone since 1992, I was bringing my girls up on my own, so I am very close to them. I have fantastic support from everyone but I was so angry as no one seem to understand that this time it's  incurable and If I tried to explain was accused by some as not being positive.  If anyone knows me at all, they would know I am very positive.

Do you have any coping techniques or advice you’d like to share?

I do meditations which help me ,I've cut down my working days to 4, I get frustrated by the way I am treated by the hospital sometimes and have to chase lots. I've  also cut down the Palbociclib dosage to 75g which made a huge difference. I'm trying to just go about my life now and carry on although not able to do as much as I used to. I feel so sorry for my girls having this burden and I do worry how long I have left to be with my grandchildren. It is sad, but I try not to go there.

Margaret Heron

How long have you been living with secondary breast cancer?

I’ve lived with my dx -de novo for 3 years and 8/9 months.

What is the emotional impact of this disease for you and your family?

My DX was a sledgehammer -i thought I had primary (didn’t know secondaries existed). I thought I was going to get a boob removed, ( a wee breast reduction). I was thinking wee strappy vest tops. I had new jammies and slippers bought for going into hospital, happy days! Then it would be gone,  until I got the CT scan results and the gun in your back!

Do you have any coping techniques or advice you’d like to share?

Coping wise, when I’m down I pull on my shoes and get out a walk -no matter what the weather is like. It’s great to get into nature with my thoughts and the exercise is good for me.

I’m also quite religious and find going to church helps pick me up, also company -whether it’s support groups or just going for tea and a cake with a pal helps.

I’ve also started booking a holidays myself-it’s a great confidence booster and helps if you have something to look forward to.